The Beginning

This is the very first story I came up with. Dated: 18 Aug 2011. So it is almost two years old. I've written this so I posted, I don't like reading it and I don't expect others to like it either.  :P

Today one year passed and like any other day I got up early morning grumbling, frustrated with the daily schedule and throwing all the anger on Mom. I couldn't help myself; I never did because I knew she understood every slightest thing that I went through.

The days begin with its own touch in it when all those memories flashes, but today all of a sudden that bitterness appeared at the same time eyeing on the calendar dated 16-08-11. But I ignored and moved on.  I was late as always, so ran to catch my 6.54am train and somehow made it in. The moment I entered the compartment, struggling after all those hands hanging up, banging my head and those feet stamping over mine. It was very normal, nothing new in it, after all Mumbai is meant for it. The crowd. After taking so much pain I finally got in and stood comfortably at the place where I usually stood. The familiar faces I smiled; some returned back, some didn’t. I removed my book from my sack and managed to fit the sack on the slab above and started reading. This is how I usually keep myself unnoticed from the chaos around me or say from the world.

When the train halted at my station, I stepped out, and then moved on walking with the crowd heading towards office. I glimpsed around which I usually don’t and felt something different, something weird. As if my instincts were trying to tell me something. I bumped and bumped again. I assured myself that I was lost and nothing else.  I somehow tried relating it to what happened last year. Was it Anubhav over my mind and veins? Well he always was, I smiled, ignored and moved on. 

After reaching office I made myself comfortable when shortly I got a call from my TL(team leader) , “Ananya Chakravarty, you have been called by Smita Ma’am”, one of the folk came over and told me to meet her in her cabin. I rushed with a hope, knowing the fact that there have been talks about my promotion. It was unusual. But no, it didn’t turn out to be what I was expecting it to be; it was some delay in a dispatch I was held for. Again the instincts brought me here with a negative atmosphere at the very beginning of the day. Yet again I ignored, sorted the matter and moved on.

Disha called me for lunch but I refused, which I never do. I didn’t know what was so wrong with me, things were strange around me. In my mind I questioned Anubhav, if it was him, if he wanted to tell me something?  Then suddenly there was a lump in my throat, I started weeping like an insane when again those mesmerizing days sparked in front of me.

It was like two years back when I passed out my college with Anubhav Sharma. 

I was friends with him in the final year during the fifth semester. I was stereotyped towards him; I assumed he was a snobbish guy who has his typical friends around him.  In other words he was among those dudes and those ‘ssup?’ fellows. 

His looks were deceptive; this is how the females in class described him. Why wouldn’t he be? His cuteness, his dark silky hair, his fair skin, pink lips, dark brown eyes defeated everyone.

Class was packed that day, leaving the first benches empty. He was late for the lecture, found no place but found the seat in front of me. I was surprised when he turned back out of the blue interrupting the lecture and asked me something, it was about the project we were together in. It was strange. But then he took the pain to ask me what work he had to do. We talked to each other for the first time in 3 years, of course with a purpose behind. His smile was flattering. Whether mine was the same, I wondered. We discussed a bit and ended up exchanging numbers.

A smile appeared on my face and then I stopped weeping. It was he who always made me happy and at the same time left out. I started working all over again…but then…

Anubhav called me that night and convinced me that he won’t be able to work for the next few days. After the conversation ended I pondered - how on earth was I convinced? Something bothered me about him the next day, I stared at him silently, and then he came up to me and explained me what work he had and couldn’t contribute towards the assignment but now he could.

It started with Facebook, went on with messages and finally phone calls. It was he who popped out with a ‘Ssup’ at the first place. We gelled up very well; when we became closer he realised I was not among those studious but among those introverts and humorous people. About a month had had passed when he eventually realised that he had fallen for me and ended up asking me out. I was not pretty sure if he was intending seriously or just had some temporary feelings towards me. But I was finally convinced, like how I said he had that in him to convince people what so ever it would be; he had that spunk in him.

Alas! I was not able to work at all. I brushed up myself. Brought a coffee for me and got back to work. The day went off smoothly but still with the gut feeling residing within, something is either awesome that is about to happen or something really terrible. I tried intertwining myself into conversation with Disha but couldn’t. After all she knew what was harassing me; she had been with me throughout.

While leaving I packed my sack putting my lunch box in, which was kept as it is, unopened. I left at 5pm and started walking my way home…..Anubhav….

At the end of the year we were placed in the same company after all those long running processes. We were focused, not just getting placed, rather getting placed together. We hoped for the best and cleared the aptitudes, group discussions and everything. We were determined to be together and luckily never fell apart. We were madly in love. We knew we were meant for each other. People often gossipped how the hell Anubhav fell for me, to which he always had an answer for, I was the most beautiful girl on earth, and he made me feel the same way, special rather very special. He said I was simple and that is how he loved me, loved me the most. Like we say every girl finds her prince, her significant other at some point of time in her life, and I did find one for me too. There was something mysterious about him. I knew him all.

The joining letter in our hand bashed it completely. Partying late night was what we did after that. I knew I was departing away from my friends, but didn’t bother when I was with him. All I knew is that I was complete.

The long walks on the beach. Hand in hand, cuddling, the touch, his ever smiling face; we felt each other in every which way. I lived every bit of it, which was only and only with him.

It was 7 in the evening and I was about to reach home. The signal turned red and I crossed, the streetlights flashed on my eyes and I was back again in those days. Being in the present I had never lived in it since after. I was still connected to him as if I had nothing else left in my life. He was in my veins, my blood, I could feel him, and he was everywhere around me.

I pictured myself as a loner and never thought of coming out of it. After him it was none who’d convince me to change things, even when I knew I had to. I knew I sounded horrible at times but I was helpless. It was difficult for me to come out of this.

I was nearing my house; I had to cross the road to reach the gate of my complex. I was completely in the past. I crossed partly and was waiting at the other end of the road.

How fun work was with him comparatively how it was now. I was not even called up for the promotion being in the third year, everything was just a rumour I thought. I regretted the fact that I was nothing without him at this point of time when I really needed him, the fact once that I loved the most.

I crossed as if I was in the third world. Not bothered about things around me. Dreaming, screaming within, totally messed up, I remained unnoticed and I crossed. Something really huge was nearing me, which said, 'This is it'. I stopped. I stopped like a moron; that huge thing was a few seconds away from me, the huge truck. Things freaked out. The horn started blowing. It blared, louder and louder and louder. I started shivering, shivering till death. It was ending up here, here itself, I thought. I thought this is it which bothered me the whole day. Those instincts followed me throughout till here, which tried telling me something. It was like a disaster. The miserable thing was going to happen, I thought. I was numb.

Suddenly something flashed in front of me, it wasn’t the headlights. It was not even Anubhav this time. 

It was my Mom.

My mom, who had been waiting for me to reach home, who waved me from the window when I left early morning. Who was making dinner ready for me, who was staring at the clock! It was she who appeared smiling in front of me. Nothing was bitter anymore when her face straight away lit up in front of me. I pulled myself up; I ran across reached the gate bewildered. People kept staring at me. I was still shivering. I was left stunned.

I was ashamed of what had happened.16-08-10, it suddenly struck me, last year on the same day Anubhav was the victim to one such incident. I started weeping looking downward, rushing towards home. Despite him not being with me anymore, he was around me the whole day. It was him who made things weird for me the whole day yet saved me from it. It was him who brought that bitterness to my instincts, but made me realised the other side of it. Who was at the edge of everything making it smoother for me, protecting me and all that I know is, he will always be there by my side. And then I realised it was not as miserable as being to death. The other end of the intuition was lightening up.

I took the lift, still thrilled. My eyes started burning; the whole incident was flashing in front me. I reached and ran to ring the door bell. Momma opened the door smiling. I was still shivering, out of the words of what had just happened. An Epiphany! And I hugged her tight weeping loud and loud. Things changed in me, I found a meaning for living, the meaning other than Anubhav and held her even tighter never falling apart from her.