A shallow night and a prancing pony

It was around twelve in the night, the streets howling as Amanda was rushing towards her home. She looked scared. She stopped and turned pale when a black cat just cut her way and crossed. She was frozen. She had started to shiver; she turned around looked right, left, down and moved on. That was a dreadful sign! Her palms started sweating; she had a feeling that something terrible is going to happen. She then reached her door; removed her keys fumbling. She looked around and felt as if someone was following her. There was an awful silence in the street. She eyed the closed doors. The darkness was killing her. There were profound stains of fear in her eyes. She unlocked the door and got in and comforted herself and felt protected. Phew!

She recalled of what had happened the whole day. The fights, the abuses and the betrayal. Her relationship with John had always been that way. When she realised she was being cheated, she died a cold death inside. She caught him with a stranger and burst out into a teary fight at his place the day, that slimy witch was watching them from a distance when they broke. Since afternoon she had been at John’s place making an effort to untie the knots in their relationship. But eventually she gave up when she found there indifferences stood from John’s side. The entire afternoon was deadly silent. He didn’t even utter a word or maybe she didn't let him. She was eventually frustrated with no reaction from John’s side and left his house leaving red remarks.

She found herself sitting down backing the door crying thinking about all that happened. She got up and screamed. Fuck off you son of a bitch! She ran up the stairs and got into the washroom and refreshed  herself. She got out and lit up the lamp and sat beside her bed. She thought how horrifying the whole day was. Her eyes were widening up. She was trying to decipher the illusion and bring herself back to life. But pessimism was surrounding her. Something evil is after my life, someone followed me the whole way, it’s you, all ‘cause of you John, I know, you ruined my whole life you bastard. The fucking cat shouldn’t show his colour. I shouldn’t have made a red silent exit. Damn you!

  

She pulled up her phone and dialled a number to her roommate who apparently was not with her and she burst out telling her everything. Her pitch rose up; I loved him so much, and that asshole was with that bitch! And now he’s making someone follow me, they will now find out what happened but who will held John responsible for all these? It went on and she ended up the call abusing. She was out of the world, she lost it completely. She started walking down her room. Her strand of curl was stroking her eye; she took a scissor and ripped it off. She was fucked up. She knew what was bothering her. John was the big time reason behind her and now he was going to take away her life she thought. She screamed. The madness was taking over her.

Is this the bloody time to play this dreadful siren like sound late in the night? She yelped like a dog when she heard the siren like sound coming from outside. The sound rose louder this time. She started sweating; her palms all wet. She then bent down and hid under the bed. You moron stop it! It was you who started it first! The doorbell rang and she had closed her eyes. No I’m not opening it. I know you want to kill me, put me behind the bars. The bell went on ringing. With no response from Amanda’s side, somebody broke the door and got in. She could hear the footsteps coming upstairs. She closed her ears, her eyes, she was still sweating. There were many people, she could hear them all. She was stunned. She pondered how they found out, the blood marks were almost taken away. They got in her room searching all over.  Then slowly one heavy weighted man raised the blanket that covered the bed. An evil smile appeared on his face. ‘So here is she, come out you lady’, he said.

I…I… just made him asleep…nothing else sir! They then pulled her out.

As they took her away, she saw a pink pony galloping in her room in merriment. She smiled back.

Now this story too dated back - 1 Sep 2011

Life and etc. in it!

I'm not an eighty year old female to give life lessons and talk about experiences but young enough to learn and share what I've learnt. The more I'm growing the different shades of life and people are giving me a clear idea how to go about and deal with things coming my way. Not a single day goes that I don’t get to learn a thing at least, be it things I know and getting to know more or deciphering a sheer human quality and keeping in mind the same. 

Life sure is not a flat field to have a blissful night walk. It’s like climbing mountains in hot summer and not having enough water to quench your thirst when needed the most. So it depends on what kind of a runner you are. An easy going runner having faith to somehow make it till the end, or a runner who pushes others down to quench the thirst to reach the peak or the runner who waits back for the time to come when it will rain, or the one who gives up and jumps off the mountain, what kind are you?

Some are mere pessimists around and thinks nothing good will happen to them. They spend their entire life both shedding tears and regretting what they could have done or keeps on eyeing upon what others have got and they are not destined to get the same. Wrath and jealousy takes place and  is how created and takes different shapes  competing to reach the highest level of it; so much effort is taken to reach that level then, how about having a perception change and going the other way round? Those two things totally succumbs. How better it would have been being an optimist, ignoring world marathon and reaching the highest level to a better path instead? But the former seems to be the typical human nature we are bound with. To look around what others have got and we don’t.  This cynical human nature makes me think a lot. It is like not looking how beautiful you are but to look how less beautiful one should have been. It is like not moulding the best in you but not letting others mould their best too. And yes this is what I’ve been seeing around and it kills me inside. I try caring less but it gets on my nerves when it happens to me or I see it happening to others.

Life in itself is so beautiful, have wide opened eyes to look around and observe. If for someone money brings the happiness home then fight your breath out to get it. If it is happiness that lacks help others to get some back, cherish all that you have, all that you like or a passion for something that makes you happy and so much more. I can endlessly talk about finding beauty in everything around me. Even a crawling ant has the ability to make you smile. “Beauty is in the eye of the gazer” rightly said? Beat that line! Happiness can be found in the extremist niche if one has faith in self to find out. For some it might take ages to get what they always desired to and eventually might find it impossible to reach there and indubitably will stop deterring to the same. But that doesn’t mean the only reason you are left with is giving up. No! Yet again I’d say life is sure no easy, if no good deeds happened to you, how about making a journey living worthwhile and carrying along memories with it. Pain is mandatory, but suffering is optional. Right? Problems are like shadows, if you turn on the lights they are gone in seconds. :)

Well then, living your own life is more important, within a fraction of seconds life can take a turn unexpectedly, you never know. Or if it doesn't  beating up time and making it happen sounds more spontaneous. So let’s not life taste the J factor or other factors. Trust me no medical treatment available as of now for such syndromes. :)

> If you've achieved something, do not announce it, be calm. People will find out somehow, if they don't they are certainly not interested.

>  It was  yesterday when I was having the best days of my life, feel like it was seconds back and I was living there. But darn!, now I say “when I was small I used to…”

> Not everything happens for a reason, It happened, 'cause you were the reason to make it happen, makes sense?! 

> Do not judge anyone's silence, the inside story is inexplicable. 

> It is not about what people think of you, it is all about how you portray yourself and if that makes you happy. (:

An Untitled Poem

Joyee sleeping, careless and wild,

Filled with fearless pride.

‘Cause she is a kid of the open sky,

Even the rain of the east cry.

That hers is the love that can’t be shed,

With the time or the days that can be led.

Stopping the flow she does grow,

She undefines even the sorrow. (:

Credits – My cousin brother. (:

I really do believe that exams are the secret to enjoying life to the fullest. No, seriously. Nothing makes reading paper, watching Youtube videos, watering plants, eating breakfast, cleaning furniture, listening to music, taking a walk, wearing shorts, talking to your Mom, counting the number of people there are in old class photographs and shooing pigeons more enjoyable than having an exam coming up in 20 days.. *not even 20 days! :D*

- One of my friends created this piece, and yes this is what exactly we all are going through right now. Cheers to all of us! :D 

Underestimate Me

The power of underestimation is not acknowledged that much. Or is it?

Well we have five fingers in a hand and do all them have the same functions? Certainly not. Everyone has their own characteristics; one is as strong as thumb, one as aggressive as the middle finger and not to underestimate the use of little finger that every kid uses the most.  Likewise one cannot expect the other to be what they want them to be.  So it is always well advised to be yourself (the saddest advice one could ever give? Well yeah! I'm not giving it here though). 

A narrow part from my personal experiences, there were always those people around me to pull me down at every point of time. There are few till date. To show what they are and what I am not. Believe me; they did no harm to me other than throwing some harsh words. All good that happened to me, ‘being underestimated’ was one of the biggest reasons that made me grow more. And every time I sit back and think I wish to throw back a silent smile. That is it. And so I don’t find a reason to compare and to be compared. Everyone is good at something or the other, everyone needs to discover themselves and be good at it. Need I say more? I'm not that preaching kind of a person, believe me. :p My posts are just to leave back a message for some to realise. People should find their own advices and grow along with it, right? (:

So why compare? Why show someone what they are not good at? Why not show what they are good at? Even if people fail to do that, nevermind, acknowledge the power of underestimation now on and yet again GROW.

There is this nuance in every human being which is undefined and cannot be compared. One definitely cannot expect traits to get matched. If things were meant to be that way imagine apathy surrounding us then.

So if you have that slot of someone around you or say if you are the one, Bother less and let it go!

Lastly “JUST DISCOVER YOURSELF AND LIVE”. (:

Behind every successful man there is a woman.

Well yes, there are some who will be there throughout her man’s journey in making him the man of her life. She will be the pillar throughout. With her powered words she will be the inspiration to his life. She will show the reason to live and give him light to move ahead. The obedient man will be as loyal as dog and behold her words strongly.

Some will be there truly and adhere to the same. But the exceptions are to be highlighted. A time might come when she will step back, why? Because she was a born ‘mercenary’ she found her ‘the man’ in someone else? Possibly! And what about the love and commitments made? Well they are meant to be broken. And eventually she will make the man realise that he was being a dog indeed all the while.

But every dog has its day, how come someone not know this?

When betrayal hits any person it hits hard leaving scars behind, the woman will have no clue what the man would do now. The scars will be the reasons to relive. Will he be what she wanted him to become? Yes! Infact, up higher above than that. The man will shine then.  And he then would only look back to make her realise that she was the bitch and will be fucked by a less successful dog.

Hence, behind this successful man too there will be a woman indeed. (:

P.S: The woman depicted here ought to be the significant other of a man’s life. On the other hand that woman could be a mother, a sister, a daughter or a friend too but that's not the purpose of this post.